NOW PANIC and FREAK OUT!

Clothes, Women, Men, Sex and Dignity

I had a rather lively and entertaining discussion with some of my Twitter friends today. Or maybe I should call them my Doctor Who friends. Either way, the discussion today had nothing to do with Doctor Who at all.

It started with a “fashion don’t” article shared by one of my friends. Apart from the usual vitriol for Crocs and leggings, the writer dropped a rather questionable line: I don’t want to sound preachy here, but if you respect yourself, you will stay away from skin-revealing clothes.

We could chalk it up to the writer’s weakness (in this case, writing), or her inability to express herself properly (again, writing). I could try to be kind, but I’m not in the mood. Also, I’m pretty much a bitch 24/7, so there’s that.

First things first. I judge you by the way you dress.

That is true. We all judge each other by the way we look. I can’t look at you and say, “that person has a kind heart”, because there’s no way I could tell without getting to know you extensively first.

Honestly, I don’t have the time for that.

So yes, I judge you by the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the way you slouch, the way you talk, even the way you chew.

If you dress like a whore, by all means I will assume you are a whore.

But that’s exactly the point.

To assume, as we all know, is to make an ass of you and me.

Just because I assume it, doesn’t mean you “become” it. Of course, you can choose not to look like a whore, but that’s your thing, not mine.

I have the right to judge you, but you also have the right to judge me back (or ignore my judgment and just walk around like a Lady Gaga in training gleefully). Because honestly, my opinion doesn’t have to mean anything to you. I certainly don’t care about yours. (Also, this is why I look like a hobo most of the time.)

The problem is that the writer says this explicitly: if you respect yourself, you will stay away from skin-revealing clothes.

Definitions are in order. What is skin-revealing? Anything that reveals skin is automatically skin-revealing. A burqa reveals the eyes! Gasp! How undignified of these women to walk around with skin-revealing clothes.

The point is that the writer assumes a person who wears skimpy clothing is simply raring to have herself ravished by male eyes. Men will talk behind her back, make awful cat calls and possibly even harass her.

The thing, though, is that experience has taught me many many times that even a potato sack cannot save you from cat calls. You can look like Maria Clara and men will hoot and make lewd remarks, like it or not.

Know why?

Because these men (not all men, of course) are animals. They live to hoot and shout and harass. They like it. They do it not because they find you pretty or sexy. They do it because fuck everything else, they can. That’s as simple as it gets.

Enough of this “you were wearing skimpy, whorish clothing, hence you were victimised” talk.

True. You dress like a slut, I’ll assume you’re a slut.

But even sluts have the right to say no.

No one is asking for it. No one deserves sexual innuendoes, or harassment, or rape.

As judgmental as I may be, I’d be the first to back sluts up on this one.